How to Handle Beef Between Believers in the Body

This is a controversial topic in most church circles.  How do you deal with Christians who sin against themselves, God, or other Christians?  Because sin ultimately has an effect on one’s relationship with God and the community of believers, we need a way in which to handle things appropriately.  With clarity, Jesus lays out a process in Matthew 18:15-20.  Here is the process:

Take it to the person privately

When someone does something offensive to you or sins against you, the Word instructs you to go to that person privately and deal with it.  If they repent then you have gained your brother again!  Oftentimes, instead of taking it to the person privately, we either make a show of it publicly or we gossip about it to other people.  Or worse yet, we don’t say anything!  This is in line with what Satan and your flesh would have you do.  Don’t blast them in public.  Don’t blast them on Facebook.  Don’t blast them on twitter.  Do go to the person in private with the issue.

Find two or three witnesses

If the person does not respond with repentance to the offense or the matter is not resolved, then 2 or 3 witnesses ought to be brought in to hear the matter.  They may be able to help resolve the situation or they may just act as witnesses to the offense that happened, so that you have credibility if you have to take the matter public.

Tell it to the church

In a church that handles the discipline of its members this could be powerful.  In first-century churches, the church knew about and handled unrepentant sinners publicly.  Most churches today do not have a working model for church discipline.  If your church does not have this type of process, then take it to your church leaders and see if they would be willing to help you to settle the dispute according to Matthew 18.

Treat them as one who is not a believer

The goal of this process is for the one who has sinned against you to repent from their sin and trust in Jesus while keeping the unity of the community of believers intact.  If they repent, you bring them back in to your church, ministry, or community of friends.  If they have continuously refused to repent from sin, then it is evidence that they may not be a believer anyway, so the bible declares that we ought to treat them as an unbeliever, hoping that by good or bad means they will come to repent for their actions. In 1 Corinthians 5, Paul talks about expelling a brother from fellowship with other believers who was having sex with his step-mother in order that his sinful nature might be destroyed.  Paul hoped that one day the step-mother lover would come to Jesus and be restored into fellowship with other believers.

Using God’s method of discipline brings honor to God and also provides a healthy way of dealing with sinful disputes between believers.  If you feel wronged by somebody, try handling it God’s way today!

What about “binding and loosing” in verses 18-20? I’ll put that in another post.