Home > Good Hope Young Adult Ministry > Divine Design: Is There a Blueprint for Relationships Today?

Divine Design: Is There a Blueprint for Relationships Today?

This is an announcement for our monthly event that takes place on the fourth Saturday of every month called C.H.A.O.S. (Christ Has All Our Solutions). This month the topic is Divine Design: Is there a Blueprint for Relationships Today? In a world where divorce is widespread, people opt not to be in committed relationships, and a lot of people are opting for someone of the same sex — what’s really good? In a world with so many different relationship arrangements, is there a blueprint? An original? Join us as we look at this issue and have some fun as well. Spoken word, table topics, and a good time will be had by all. Show starts at 7 and ends at 9. See you!!!

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  1. theteester
    May 18, 2008 at 10:01 pm

    After having a conversation with someone that I will not name, I thought about this question from both a biblical and worldly view. My answer, as a Christian, from both perspectives, is YES. I believe there is a blueprint for relationships. The world clearly has a design for both friendships and dating/”going together” relationships. In friendships, the blueprint is being able to relate to one another+ sharing with each other+ trusting each other=friendship. The worldly blueprint for dating is talking+time+transparency+trusting=touching=dating relationship.

    The Bible also clearly outlines the blueprint for relationships. However, I am addressing the dating relationship with the thought of a person having a desire to be married. In Genesis 2:20-24, God speaks of how the marital relationship was conceived. However, prior to the marital relationship, God shares with believers the perspective in which they are to view members of the opposite sex (1Tim 5:1-2). While I am supportative of, and believe in the design for marriage, I struggle with 1 Tim 5:1-2 as it relates to interacting with the opposite sex; which is CRITICAL before marriage. How is a sistah to “treat younger men as brothers” AND get to know a man? More importantly, how is a brotha to “treat younger women as sisters” and get to know her in the context of a wife (Prov 18:22)?? My thought behind both of these instructions are that Chrisitans are to have relationships with the opposite sex that are pleasing to God. While I am all for that, how do Christians move from treating the opposite sex as a sibling to “dating” the opposite sex? Is it a sin (disobedience to God) to enter into a dating relationship with someone when you are, as a Christian, instructed to view that attractive brotha as your sibling? How does a Christian obey the word of God (1Tim 5:2) and date to marry???

    THOUGHTS…..COMMENTS….Suggestions…..AnYOnE??

  2. May 19, 2008 at 4:19 pm

    I Timothy 5:1-2 was written to Timothy, the pastor, by Paul who instructs him about how to deal with women in the church. He should treat the younger women as sisters, in all purity. Timothy was encouraged to treat the women in the church as his Christian sisters not dealing with them flirtingly or provocatively. He talks to them and deals with them with purity in his heart, not lustfully or selfishly.

    Attraction without lust is not sinful. I can admire flowers that some one got in the office, but still move on to finish my work for the day. I am not going to let flowers keep me from doing my work. Same as attraction. It shouldn’t be your master or cause you to make a decision without consultation with God.

    Remember a married couple are still brother and sister in Christ. The fellowship in Christ doesn’t stop at the alter.

    Before a sister “gets to know a man” seriously who she is attracted to, she must ask the question, is this man interested in me? Has he taken the initiative to pursue me? As the one who takes the lead role in a relationship and marriage, he must have it in his mind with GOD’s DIRECTION that he is pursuing a possible mate in a woman. Many problems can be avoided if the man is allowed to fill his divine role. (Prov. 18:22). When that happens, the courtship can proceed under the direction of God and some wise counsel. In a nutshell, he ought to choose you and see you for who you are. Marriage is essentially an imperfect picture that points to Jesus’ sacrifice, death, burial, and resurrection, in order that he could marry a people who weren’t looking for Him or seeking him. HE sought us out, sacrificed for us, and committed to marry us. (Ephesians 5:31-33). Our relationships ought to track that model.

  3. theteester
    May 19, 2008 at 10:50 pm

    THANKS for your response. Funny thing…..I knew this information, and I am well aware of the design/role of the male, BUT, for some reason, your response helped to paint a clearer picture for me! I sometimes find myself in conversations with single female Christian friends, college friends, and others, and the topic of dating and marriage ALWAYS surface. The common thread seems to be struggling with “dating” in 2008 as a Christian. One issue is waiting for a man to verbally express an interest when he is clearly interested. What’s up with that?? What is a woman to do.. WAIT….?? (rhetorical question). Anyway…you have helped me to articulate several things about dating, lust, attraction, and marriage.

  4. May 21, 2008 at 4:40 pm

    QUESTION??? HOW AM I TO EVER GET MARRIED IF THESE CHRISTIAN MEN NEVER MOVE PASS THEIR FEARS, SELECTIVE MUTISM (Selective mutism is a social anxiety disorder in which a person who is normally capable of speech is unable to speak in given situations), LACK OF COURAGE, CONFIDENCE, AND/OR THEIR STRUGGLES FROM THE PAST THAT WONT ALLOW THEM TO MOVE FORWARD… what’s up with the excuse that I’ve been hurt before so I’m careful with my heart??? Or what’s up with—in my past I’ve done so much wrong (SEX, drugs, alcohol, wild parties, crazy thoughts of lust)THAT I HAVE TO LIVE A SCARED STRAIGHT AND PERFECT LIFE????

    From
    Trying 2 Luv & Learn

  5. May 21, 2008 at 4:48 pm

    a man who finds a wife finds a good thing??? hmmm… ummm… what about WOMEN???WHAT ARE WOMEN SUPOOSE TO DO??? PLEASE DONT SAY JUST WAIT—that’s sending me to my boiling point. AND YES… i’ve heard all the stories about waitING.. wait a little longer… and after ten years be more patient and wait a even longer??? I’VE HEARD THE SONG, BOUGHT THE T-SHIRT FOR MYSELF AND A HOST OF OTHERS, BEEN TO THE PLAY, BOUGHT THE MOVIE, AND EVEN BEEN ON THE CRUISE… THIS IS GETTING OLD…

    I need real LIFE examples… i haven’t bumped my head just yet so maybe i have a different outlook on things.

  6. May 21, 2008 at 10:25 pm

    Let’s look at your perspective. Do you have a ME perspective or a God perspective. God works on his own timing in his own will. As a Christian, we make a pact with him to follow him wherever the road might take us. First find out is it in God’s will for you to marry, and if it is, then wait for God to align the situation according to his will. Don’t worry about what the men are doing or not doing. Fear says let me see how I can manipulate a situation to my advantage. Faith says I will trust in the Lord and his fate for me is good enough for me. Don’t be afraid to be obedient and wait.

    Meanwhile, find out God’s purpose for your life. As Christians we are called to be salt and light in the earth. Make sure that you are aligned with his will for your life and you are busy working towards that. You will find your fulfillment in Him. When you have a moment check out John 4 for an example of a woman who tried to find fulfillment in men and ultimately found fulfillment in Jesus Christ.

    As far as examples, surround yourself with positive influences who are chasing after God and not a man or a woman, who are looking for fulfillment in their Savior. You will find that these individuals, whether married or single, have found true peace in the King of Glory.

  7. May 22, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Totally understood… I’m doing just that–but at times i stumble and get a little frustrated. as i pull myself closer to christ and further away from wordly beliefs i’m confident that i’ll stumble no more—or less often SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM HUMAN… it’s already evident that i’m being lead in the right direction FOR if i was not—i’d be caught up in a world of trouble doing things all out of order. BUT it never fails, each and every time i step out of order I get a big slap in the face. WHETHER THAT’S BEING CAUGHT ON THE VERGE OF SLIPPING, CALLED RIGHT B4 OR AFTER I ATTEMPT TO SLIP, CHALLENGED TO REEEE–EVALUATE MY THOUGHTS, REJECTED, IGNORED, OR FEELING CONVICTED. ANd for me being a “it wont happen to me b/c i’m in control” type of gal is even worsE—AND I THINK BEING A LATE BLOOMER HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT. anyhow, i take a different approach each time i think i’ll succeed when i get out of order AND everytime i fail, IM caught just before i put my heart on the chopping block.

    …but to answer ur question i believe as for now–i do have a ME perspective. yes ME want to have wants to have an everlasting/death due us part TYPE marriage blessed by GOD , ME wants to have the ideal 2.5 children, yes ME wants to be successful, yes its ME that wants to be blessed abundatly and highly favored by God… yes its ME ME ME ME. and maybe my thinking is all wrong but i want to do all IN A MANNER THAT IS PLEASING AND ALSO GLORIFYING TO GOD. I just relaize I’m not perfectly and recognize i step out of order and that im the most IMPATIENT of the impatient.

    AND i have to be super duper honest and admit that i’m gonna have to pray for patience and be accepting of whatever God GIVES me for a lack of a better term. if i’m never blessed to be a wife and mother—i guess i have to grow to be okay with that.

    QUESTIONS?:
    1. HOW DO U DETERMINE IF ITS GOD’S WILL FOR YOU TO MARRY?

    Yes, I have surrounded myself with positive people who are serious about their walk. And for this 1 person i can really see the beauty and drama-free life this person is blessed to live because all things, for the most part, are done in decency and in order.
    And in all that this person does I see the benefit in doing God’s will first. HONESTLY I REALLY SEE IT, really i do. usually i have a IF–AND–OR BUT, this time i dont.

    2.AS FOR 2008—DONT YOU THINK IT TAKES TIME TO GET TO THAT POINT THOUGH?

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